Failing and winning...

Confession time...I have failed.  Actually, I have failed time and time again. Today's failure just came in the form of a collision of a brownie and a chocolate chip cookie.  Yesterday it was several handfuls of Cocoa Puffs...

I remember being at my heaviest weight.  And I remember blaming the sweet tea, the holidays, the job I had, my parents, a lack of time... I never targeted was ME!  I am not saying to blame yourself for your current situation, because blaming drives a negative mindset.  Instead, it is time you and I take responsibility.
I have to take charge of my nutrition, I need to take charge of my fitness, I need to take charge of me.  As do you!

Here is the struggle for me it is not my actions that are the problem.  It's my mindset. I have often let how I feel be the determinant of how I act.  If I am having a pissy day, my hand seems to find it's way into the proverbial and literal cookie jar.  If I am winning that day emotional and mentally, I am able to stay disciplined.

 I heard John Maxwell say if you wait for the feeling to lead you to action, you will sit there waiting forever.  In the same breath he challenged me (and every other listener) that action will create the feeling.  Is it difficult? Yes.  Impossible? No.

We all have demons inside that haunt us.  They are the voices that whisper in our ear that we are not worth it.  The are the echoes in the mind of every person that has kicked us, put us down, and wounded us.  And far too often I and maybe you, let those hurts and wounds have control over how we live and act.  In quite the most honest expression, these voices and thoughts are disabling, at times more than any physical disability.  The wounds chain us up.  And we let them they become the crutch we emotionally carry preventing us from becoming healthy - not just physcially, but spiritually and emotionally.  Remember you are a whole person, so health is just not a number on a scale.

I don't shove my face full of Cocoa Puffs because I desire Cocoa Puffs.  No I binge on worthless sugary, carbo loaded food because I am trying to comfort the wounds that I have allowed someone else to rub like sand paper on a sore.    Maybe food is not your vice of choice when you feel the world is crumbling.  Maybe you chose drinking, smoking, or even reckless behaviors.

Here is the pinnacle of this situation and the place where I have sat and do sit and quite possible you too:  I have the option to continue to allow my hurts, wounds and the voices to dictate my actions and blame them for my current situation.  OR I can take responsibility.  If you are like me this is the 10 meter high dive off a cliff into jagged edged water.  It is scary as hell!!  But living in between is no place to live.  An even worse place is living with the thoughts, words and beliefs of others dictate how you live.  More importantly is the realization that we are not on the edge of that cliff alone no matter how lonely it feels.

This my battle.  This is my fight.  This is me standing on the edge of the cliff of life.  My heart in my throat, fear coursing through every inch of me.  READY TO JUMP!  Will you join me?